The Internet is Chewing Gum for the Eyes

A Few of My Favorite Things

2012-01-19T21:15:00.005-05:00

I, like millions of other youtube pedestrians, keep an electronic listing of "favorite" videos. Every so often I'll watch watch one or two, enjoying the creative savor as if it were fine Swiss chocolate. Every so often I'll add another smile to my bag of favorite things - sorry Maria, but raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens are for the birds. Recently I happened upon a well made cover of Coldplay's "Paradise" and was pleasantly surprised.

So here's to one of my favorite things: (what are yours?)

Expressions of Love

2012-01-08T22:53:00.005-05:00

My wife has an innate ability to remember to express her love for me every day. Whether it be love notes in my lunch box, around the house or in my journal, I am always awed by her imaginative way to show me that she's been thinking about me. One of my New Year's resolution this year is to try to emulate her example.

Last year, Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke on the eternal blessings of marriage, in which he shared beautiful thoughts and wisdom in how we can better express our love to our spouses. To men he counseled:

"Do you tell your wife often how very much you love her? It will bring her great happiness. I’ve heard men tell me when I say that, “Oh, she knows.” You need to tell her. A woman grows and is greatly blessed by that reassurance. Express gratitude for what your spouse does for you. Express that love and gratitude often. That will make life far richer and more pleasant and purposeful. Don’t withhold those natural expressions of love."

Some time last year, I came home from work to discover the kitchen table arrayed in banana-grams board game letters. Not thinking much of it, other than perhaps she had tried her luck at some solitaire version of banana-grams, I moved on by, though glancing at a few of the words, my curiosity piqued. As I scanned the remainder of the words, a theme emerged from view. There, starring back at me, was a sweet expression of her unfailing love for me:

A few days later, whilst the woman of the house was out and about, I decided to play the same game set to my own unique and love-smitten musings. Simply put, I learn from the best. So here's to New Year's resolutions:

Oh Beautiful for Spacious Skies

2012-01-05T20:56:00.007-05:00

One of the blessings of living in Colorado, is the spectacular display of colors in the sky in the early morning and evening hours. Perhaps I am mistaken though it seems to me, this part of the country dishes out second and third helpings of richly colored sun-scapes compared to other places. Here on the Front Range, we enjoy the visual contrast of the great plains to the east and the continental divide to the west. But enough with the English, bring on the pixels!

Boulder, CO

Cumulus & Prairie

Money shot of Maroon Bells

The only picture I can claim in this post; a sunrise from my window.

EXCEL lent

2012-01-04T21:21:00.002-05:00

A nerdy hobby of mine is writing and tinkering with Excel macros. I'm no uber geek, but I enjoy the satisfaction of saving time and hassle. Overall, Excel is a simple tool to operate and not overly complicated to tweak. That may sound a bit bland, so here's a much more passionate take on the subject of tabular organization: Surveying the vast sea of individual cells all neatly aligned and formatted to my heart's content, they smile back at me as if specially wrapped chocolates and cry out: "Pick me! Pick me!"

Over the past year, my pet projects have included:
- Family Budget
- Recipe Organizer
- Food Storage Calculator
- Apartment/House Trade Study

I browse the internet for well designed templates and ideas, and then "supe up" the spreadsheet with automation and functions of interest. Looking back on it all I may not have saved myself eons of time; however, my brain kept active and young. In tribute, here's to staying young from a childhood mentor:

Daddy's Rock Star

2011-12-29T21:40:00.005-05:00

Reason #761 on Why Today was Awesome: What more can I say...

The More the Merrier

2011-11-03T01:03:00.002-04:00

Announcing the formation of our Kuzmich family blog, to the gaiety of nations and grandparents:

http://kuzmichconstitutional.blogspot.com/

My Loverly Liezel

2011-10-31T23:25:00.007-04:00

She is a mother, wife and companion; devoted and faithful. Her smile brightens the darkest day. She welcomes with a tender embrace. Her love is assuring. She is wise; quick to forgive and slow to judge. Never was there a lovelier rose in the garden of my life.

Elegant Efficiency

2011-10-31T21:53:00.004-04:00

I got a bug some time last week to film our apple peeler/corer in action.

Autumnal Adventure

2011-10-23T01:16:00.006-04:00

Our trip to see the autumn colors began from the back porch

Clearly unimpressed with the gourds on display

"Will pose for milk"

Saw some pretty colors down the street

The Continental Divide to the west

Double-chin grin :)

Happy Baby... Happy Parents :)

Impressions

2011-08-08T23:37:00.009-04:00

I am amazed by the pure and simple magic that is impersonation. Perhaps I am not as acutely aware, but it seems to me that a great majority of voice impersonations are performed by men. Could it be akin to male song birds, wooing their female companions, but through humor? But I digress. Enjoy a truly remarkable display of awesomeness in the following clip:

...and I'm a Mormon

2011-07-05T23:05:00.006-04:00

I consider myself a connoisseur of commercials, having amassed a sizable collection of personal favorites. The cinematography, music and punch lines combine to make memorable works of art (and hopefully sell something in the process).

In my latest search, I have happened upon some memorable commercials from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Each commercial emphasizes a gospel principle from the perspective of a given member of said church, drawing upon their own unique and sometimes challenging life experiences. I admit I am no Chuck Norris and I may have teared up watching some of them (but only a eensie weensie bit in the most manly way).

In my opinion, they are refreshing and feel good worthy of which I highly recommend regardless of belief system. Some of my favorites are Marco, Eric, Nadia, Allan, Victor, and Jane to name a few. Each week, I find myself looking forward to meeting someone new and seeing the beauty in life. Makes me wanna go and carpe some diem!

Canning 101: An Exercise in Patience

2011-07-03T18:25:00.007-04:00

I'd like to preface this post with the following scripture:

"And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive," (Book of Mormon, Alma 7:23).

You're might be thinking: what could this possibly have to do with canning? Well, everything actually. Over the past few weekends, the wife and I have been learning about self reliance in the following areas: education, health, employment, home storage, finances, spiritual strength. We discussed plans and ways to make strides and improvements in each of these areas; however, of particular concern was our sad state in home storage (i.e. food/water storage, 72 hour emergency kit, etc..). In addressing this concern, our effort lately has been focused on learning how to look for food sales and preserve food via pressure canning.

Learning new things is fun, right? Indeed, but if things should go awry and your kitchen turns into the insides of a honey jar, you might as well enjoy the journey. I am pleased to report, we have been successful in canning chicken, peaches and strawberry/blueberry jam. Each one brought with it a unique set of trials and setbacks. Cutting raw chicken is awkward. Preparing imperfect peaches is an uphill battle. Shrapnel from exploding bubbles of boiling jam is hot; very hot. But after the maelstrom, there is a feeling of satisfaction when you can finally see the fruit of your labors. Canning teaches patience and diligence. And in my opinion, preserving and laying up fruit against the season is just another way to cherish the many blessings from a loving Heavenly Father.

Peaches on sale for 47 cents/lbs is not an everyday occurrence, so we did the sensible thing and ransacked the local grocery store.

Chicken was poached pre-canning to ensure eradication of harmful bacteria. Kitchen was scrubbed to the same effect.

Boiling peaches. This process was very educational in how to select peaches in the future.

Yellow gold!

Constant stirring to help thwart jelly attacks. "Wax on, Wax off" technique came in quite handy.

And by their fruits, ye shall know them.

Bonsai Bonanza

2011-06-27T23:27:00.013-04:00

A celebration of the blessed bonsai was held at the Denver Botanic Gardens not too long ago. The Rocky Mountain Bonsai Society sponsored true eye candy, showcasing several varieties and styles. The age of the bonsai on display ranged from a dozen to over many hundreds of years. It was obvious that none of these beautiful specimens were for sale. Of particular interest was the presentation. The design behind each bonsai was impressive. Many of the plants were accompanied with detailed moss cropping, bamboo backdrop and unique display stools. So without further adieu ladies and gentlemen, commence your drooling:

Japanese Maple

Dawn Redwood

Chinese Elm

Windswept style (Juniper sp.)

Another Japanese Maple

Dawn Redwood

Ponderosa Pine?

Azalea

Trident Maple

Forest or Raft style (Chinese Elm)

Concerning Marmots

2011-06-18T14:16:00.006-04:00

A marmot? What in the world is that? I asked myself these questions after spotting a sign for marmot crossing near Aspen, CO:

Marmots, one of mother nature's lesser-known creatures, are in the same genus as the ground squirrel. I think of them as large, pudgy squirrels that feed on grasses, flowers and berries in mountainous regions. According to the sign, marmots come in two different sizes: strangely large and freakishly huge. Of their typical behaviors, they seem to enjoy sitting on large rocks and mocking passers-by.

Therefore, when in Rome... do as the marmots:

Wok Talk

2011-04-13T21:51:00.006-04:00

Friends, Countrymen, Romans... Give me your seasoned woks!

29 revolutions around the sun and I now have come to understand that not all woks are created equal. Indeed, the carbon steel wok is the grand-daddy of them all, and more seasoned they are the tastier the food. This may look like copper, but it ain't so:

'Seasoning' prepares the wok for cooking. This sometimes lengthy process is well documented using both stove-top and oven: Seasoning Method. One not-so pleasant side-effect was the waft of metallic-oil fumes, though nothing a fan or two couldn't handle. The lovely wife sent words of encouragement from the far side of the apartment. How sweet.

I may be yet a young grasshopper in the field of stir-fry-topia, but timid I am not.

Classical Music Top 40

2011-04-05T22:31:00.006-04:00

Last weekend the wife and I took a night out to the symphony. The concert featured a "Classical Music Top 40" theme (10 pieces total) showcasing uber-popular hits like Pachelbel's Canon in D, Bizet's Toreador from Carmen, and Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries.

In the movie "Chocolate" (2000), there are several scenes where Vianne (a drifter and chocolatier) attempts in vain to guess the favorite chocolate desert of one Roux (another drifter). Each time Vianne offers Roux a different chocolate sweet, he replies something to the effect of "very good, but not my favorite". In a similar fashion I found the concert to be very good, but not my favorite.

I've thought about it some more and compiled a list of what I think would make some of my favorite "Top 40" program (that is not part of a string quartet, solo work, symphony, concerto, opera or multiple pieces from the same composer - for this list, please reference my forthcoming "Top 500"). I've hyperlinked the following pieces via Youtube for your listening pleasure (some of the links may not have the best sound quality):

Beethoven: Egmont Overture
Gustav Holst: Jupiter from "The Planets"
Mussorgsky: Baba Yaga
Tchaikovsky: "Swan Lake" Suite
Elgar: Enigma Variations (Nimrod)
Prokofiev: Troika from Lieutenant Kije
Dvorak: Slavonic Dance No. 1
Barber: Adagio for Strings
Vivaldi: Presto (Summer) from "Four Seasons"
Mozart: Adagio Serenade No 10 in B Flat
Bach: Toccata and Fugue in d minor arr. Leopold Stokowski for orchestra

You Are What You Eat

2011-02-23T22:58:00.004-05:00

Today's blog post is brought to you by the word, Twinkie [too-ween-key] -noun: A kind of soft yellowish euphoria wrapped in plastic. A staple food of many young and unassuming North Americans.

Twinkies are said to consist of 37 ingredients, but I counted only two, white and yellow.

Apart from clotting our arteries and making ding dongs jealous, Twinkies have enjoyed a bustling 80+ year (shelf) life. For many of us growing up, Twinkie the Kid was a cultural icon, wrangling the likes of Captain Cupcake and Fruit Pie the Magician. Today, his fame and jovial smile continue to outlast all other wannabee snack cakes. Indeed, this golden sponge cake with creamy filling has made its mark on history; a soft pudgy mark.

Up Up and Away

2011-02-08T21:56:00.008-05:00

A little over a year ago, my then soon-to-be betrothed asked me what I might like for Christmas. Honestly, I did not care for anything in the world except to be with her for Christmas; however, not to disappoint and list off at least one pithy yet tangible desire, I answered something to the effect of "it would be great if I had the title to the planet Jupiter."

Fast-forward a year and one month and to my great surprise and delight, even far-out dreams can come true:

"The International board of Planetary Ownership Petitions (IBPOP) Bern, Switzerland, certifies that Dallin Kuzmich of the United States of America, State of Colorado, City of Boulder has been awarded the sole title and full ownership of THE PLANET JUPITER. By right of inheritance and as the last dying wish of Walter Rzeszowskiego (your father's favorite uncle's half-brother's third cousin, twice removed). The Honorable Mr. Rzeszowskiego served as the President of IBPOP for 62 years. He passed away in his board of director's chair on 8 Dec 2010. Please present this certificate on all charter flights to Jupiter to receive first-class service. A history of the planet, satellite photography originals, and a sample of Jupiterian soil are forthcoming. Given this sixteenth day of December, two thousand and ten."

Dearest Liezel - you are a talented and creative wonder! How does a trip to Jupiter tomorrow sound? I'll fill the hydrazine/oxidizer tanks; just bring that beautiful smile of yours :)

Freedom

2011-01-22T17:16:00.005-05:00

When you think of the word "freedom", certain ideas come to mind. The ability to make choices and freedom from oppression or confinement. I submit an addition to the list: Freedom from pesky credit unions.

Story goes: when moving from Upstate New York to Colorado, I "attempted" to close out my account with the local bank; however, their mystical "you-need-us" powers were too great for my gullible defense. So during and after the move, I simply forgot about it and found a new bank. Fast-forward two years and I discover that I am now in debt to said credit union, on account of a policy stating something to the effect "in the absence of a monthly direct deposit, we will deduct x dollars from your account".

I grudgingly pay the amount due, and interestingly enough, have certifiable proof of riddance in the form of a one cent check! Now the question bears mentioning; what things can you buy with a penny?

To Boldly Go

2011-01-16T21:05:00.007-05:00

Last week's Family Home Evening (FHE) was my turn to prepare the lesson and activity. I admit I hadn't given much thought to it so when the time came, I had to improvise. Eyeing a certain cut-out template in the corner of the room, it was only a matter of time before Book of Mormon passages aligned themselves to form the framework for a lesson. The prophet Lehi was commanded of the Lord to depart Jerusalem and with his family, take journey to a promised land. The lesson was good, and the application simple:

By faithful obedience in keeping the commandments, the Lord prepares a path for us to cross our individual "seas" (obstacles) wherein we will be led to "better lands" (finding greater spiritual fulfillment and joy).

And for the activity, rather than building a sea-bearing vessel to cross the great ocean, I thought it only fitting that we construct the Orion Crew Exploration Capsule to cross the immensity of space; all from a cut-out!

The ensuing activity turned into a lesson of extreme patience, as many tiny and fragile pieces needed to be carefully removed and folded with surgical precision. Twice, the space vehicle was rushed to the high bay for advanced welding repairs (scissors & tape). After an hour I awoke the wife, already suffering the drowsy effects of four dimensional space travel, to christen the HMS Liahona. Great Success!

Attack of the Ginger Spice

2010-12-31T16:18:00.008-05:00

***Attention - This blog post is not for tiny children nor the faint of heart***

RELEASE THE NINJAS!

These stealthy warriors are set to sneak into your kitchen and stage a cookie coup!

Your hands move like a whisper, cutting dark shapes into pre-rolled dough; mere minutes away from being unleashed upon unsuspecting guests.

Behold their awesomeness and impeccable fashion sense. They mean business.

A few facts about ninjas:

Ninja always land on their feet. If they don’t have feet they will land on their nubs.

Live in your house secretly for days

Can hover for hours

Flip out and kill everything

Can hide in incense smoke

Bullets dodge ninjas.

Ninjas iron there shirts while wearing them.

If You Give a Man a Cookie

2010-11-30T22:59:00.003-05:00

If you give a man a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk. When you give him the milk, he'll probably ask you for some more cookies. When he's finished with the milk (and cookies), he'll probably sit back and admire his man-stache in the mirror.

probably...

A few days ago I had my own give-a-mouse-cookie experience come back to bite me during prep for dinner. I completely forgot to take the sliced almonds out of the toaster oven. The result: Almendras a la Char - ultra rich in carbon-y goodness.

This blog post was brought to you by the words "Vigilance", "Attentiveness" and "Carcinogenic"

Whooosh

2010-11-16T20:37:00.004-05:00

Dear Wildly Unpredictable Colorado Weather,

I realize you get bored on occasion and like to "spice" things up. Well, today was totally unacceptable. Your brief 50+mph out-of-no-where wind gush projecting a plethora of horizontally-focused ice/rain pellets on an otherwise beautifully calm sunny day was not appreciated in the least.

Sincerely,
Soggy Pants in Cubicle-land

On the brighter side, I now have a new-found respect for the Mormon pioneers who, despite great odds, trekked across an untamed wilderness, with guiding faith in the Savior. Exercising such faith as this is deserving of Heavenly blessings.

Fortunately tonight, there be a fiddler in this camp to provide vital mental medicine.

My Thousand Words

2010-11-10T23:24:00.005-05:00

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then do a thousand words equal a picture? I submit that this is indeed the case given that the words are in "ZDingbats" characters (who designs these wacky fonts anyways? I like food).

Our 4 + month overdue wedding pictures came in the mail this week, providing much joy and relief. They turned out beautifully clear. So here's my thousand words: I love my Liezel, mi perla de gran precio!

Laugh a little more

2010-11-10T19:18:00.004-05:00

This is it folks, entertainment at it's best: A pug and his piano

Spooks

2010-10-25T22:37:00.003-04:00

The great pumpkin carving tradition has begun, with Mr. Mumps. Say hello to your adoring fans Mr. Mumps...

Mr. Mumps was in the dumps, for though he had a large and toothy grin, a beauty contest he'd never win... but WE still love him! Indeed, and then we'll eat him. Happy Halloween and happy pumpkin pie making!

Engineering Marvel

2010-10-16T12:23:00.005-04:00

Swiss engineers completed the world's largest tunnel Friday, drilling through the last few feet of rock needed to complete the 35.4-mile tunnel underneath the Swiss Alps, the Associated Press reported.

The drill bit used to carve the last few feet of solid rock is a pretty spectacular sight. Take a look at the video feed here.

In passing-by, I had the opportunity to meet with the world's largest drill bit and ask a question:

D: What manner of machine are you that can summon up rock without chisel or hammer?

T: I... am a drill bit.

D: By what name are you known?

T: There are some who call me... 'Tim'...?

D: ...greetings, Tim the Drill Bit.

In other news, I learned you can post just about thing in Craigslist, including a post soliciting exotic and ancient lumber for furniture-intended purposes, submitted by yours truly.

Born Free

2010-09-26T23:19:00.003-04:00

Have you ever sprinted down an enormous mound of sand while recording yourself? If not, I highly recommend it :)

Watch it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M7avr7_7FU

The epic downhill journey looking back up the sand dune.

Living Off The Fat of the Land

2010-08-13T17:37:00.009-04:00

Mother Nature can be pretty erratic here in Colorado, but in between her bouts of stormy confusion, the sun bakes some mighty fine vegetation. Take a looksie at the early July harvest from the garden we planted at my parents home:

Squash, Zuchini, Green Beans, Peppers and Tomatoes are summer staple foods, chock full of nutrients. So I looked out the window and what did I see? A breathing radioactive superorganism of steroidal chlorophyll (and a photo shoot):

Alissa makes some culinary grand slams from scratch - just short of germinating the millet and sorghum seeds - she whisks together colorful masterpieces that makes mitocondria salivate:

20 Second Summary

2010-08-10T23:18:00.002-04:00

News Update:

I got married
I gained 0.4 lbs
I live in hippie-ville
Graveyard shifts stink like old gym socks left in the sink

Blog hiatus ending shortly. That is all. Thank you.

Of Mommies and Mothers

2010-05-09T20:03:00.002-04:00

"O be wise, what more can I say?" This simple phrase from the prophet Jacob tells us that in the end, it would be well with us to just be wise. How often have we heard these and other bits of wisdom from our parents, especially our Mothers? At times in our lives it may seem folly and inconvenient to trust in the guiding counsel of caring Mothers yet we never doubt their reasons. They love us with an unbounded love. They are there to reassure us when all is dark. They help see past our weaknesses and cherish in our triumphs. So here's to you Mom on this beautifully sunny Mother's Day; may you rejoice in that happiness which is reserved for those who give with all their heart. I love you.

Belated April Fools

2010-04-05T00:18:00.002-04:00

A fanciful article that wins for originality as well as comedic relief:

http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/0,39029552,49305387,00.htm

2600 Big Ones

2010-03-10T21:48:00.002-05:00

**WARNING - SOME MATERIAL MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR PESSIMISTS AND MEANY HEADS**

You may of heard of the sound barrier but have you heard of the calorie barrier? This gravy-colored lining can be a high bar to hurdle for some or a little people limbo for others. I call upon you: Friends, Romans, Country-fried steaks; lend me your chops!

According to the food pyramid people, to gradually increase in weight, my daily caloric intake must be at a minimum 2600 calories. Dividing that by 5 meals a day leaves me starring down a 520 calorie juggernaut every three hours. To date, my best meal attempt was the forging of a nuclear soy smoothie (~450 calories) which nearly sunk me.

Having learned from sad experiences that substituting overly fatty food for lean meats, grains and vegetables will only result in pain-and-no-gain, I hereby petition you - who doth read my words with much forlorn - to supply any stomach-able and fruitful meal ideas in meeting my cataclysmic calorie challenge. My many thanks :) Calories, ye be warned!

P.S. - whoever can suggest the highest calorie/best-tasting meal wins a big hug! Note: the portion should not exceed 6 ounces as my stomach generally revolts if any more is stuffed in there.

What Key Are You?

2010-03-04T20:28:00.002-05:00

What dark matter is to astrophysicists, is what musical key characteristics are to musicians. It's a bit of black magic wrapped up inside a gooey delicious cookie just out of the oven. So who's to say what tastes good when it comes to sharps and flats? Answer: you!

Certain musical keys are thought to induce certain emotions. For example (get ready for a really long reference), from Christian Schubart's Ideen zu einer Aesthetik der Tonkunst (1806) translated by Rita Steblin in A History of Key Characteristics in the 18th and Early 19th Centuries (no kidding?), the Key of C denotes a feeling "Completely pure. Its character is: innocence, simplicity, naïvety, children's talk." Of course not everyone hears it the same way. According to Charpentier's Regles de Composition ca. 1682, the Key of C is "gay and warlike."

F# Major indicates "a gloomy key: it tugs at passion as a dog biting a dress. Resentment and discontent are its language." Ask any violinist to play you a tune in such a key and you are asking for trouble. Simply put, it is an evil key; a key which-must-not-be-named (or played).

Eb Major is "the key of love, of devotion, of intimate conversation with God."

Ab minor (and miner) is a "grumbler, heart squeezed until it suffocates; wailing lament, difficult struggle; in a word, the color of this key is everything struggling with difficulty."

Some of my favorite keys are: E major/minor and A Major, ranging from grief to magnificence and splendor. Schubert likened E minor "unto a maiden robed in white with a rose-red bow on her breast." Whoa Schubert, TMI!

In addition to emotion, some have even gone so far as to label keys with colors. No, this is not a drawback to the sixties or shunning those who are color-blind, it's about our sixth sense: food. I bet a lot of early composers got hungry and probably did some of their best work against the petition of a growling tummy. So logically, their eyes would begin to play tricks on them after a while and without warning the Chiquita banana girl with her cornucopia of mouth-watering fruits would leap onto the page and influence the key. A sly green apple? A Major. A humongous juicy watermelon? C Major, etc etc. And thus proves the super commutative property of music: food = color = emotion = music.

Certainty

2010-02-21T19:53:00.003-05:00

In a letter Benjamin Franklin penned to Jean-Baptiste LeRoy the 13th of November 1789 "Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." Indeed such things are simply unavoidable, yet I believe Franklin could use some revision.

Everyone seeks certainty in a world of doubt. The late President Gordon B. Hinckley declared: “We know not all that lies ahead of us. We live in a world of uncertainty. … But one thing we do know. Like the Polar Star in the heavens, regardless of what the future holds, there stands the Redeemer of the world, the Son of God, certain and sure as the anchor of our immortal lives,” (Ensign March 2008).

Indeed, I know with absolute certainty - beyond the scope of mortality - of the Savior's promise unto all who would faithfully follow in His footsteps: "Behold, I am the law, and the light. Look unto me and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life" (3 Nephi 15:9).

Great Quotes #1

2010-02-19T01:50:00.003-05:00

"Watching all this snowboarding is so boring ... I want to see curling." - Mom, on speaking her mind during the Vancouver 2010 Olympics

Lesser-known Alliterative Birthday Party Games

2010-02-15T22:22:00.003-05:00

Bobbing for Bees

Walrus Wrestling

Pin the Pansy on the Panther

Juggling Jaguars

Hide and Go Hibernate

Blow out the Bonfire

3-2-1 Blast Off

2010-01-20T20:54:00.003-05:00

The space shuttle program is due to end this year. The 28.8 million dollar paper weights are on sale and can be yours for only 360 easy payments of $80k. Do you have a hankering to be the ultimate Top Gun in the neighborhood? Well now's your chance. Already marked down 50% from the original asking price, this bargain may even continue to shed percentages points.

In addition, NASA announced the shuttle engines could be purchased separately (between $400k - 800k each), yet no buyers on the prowl. Now NASA is giving them away free on the condition that the desirous party have the wherewithal to haul them away. Let us consult the pocket calculator; a 3.2 ton engine for free or a 2,237 ton shuttle for 28.8 million dollars. Therefore, as I'm currently strapped for cash and one overly-enthusiastic coworker of mine claims his truck can pull one of those engines, I say road trip!

Of Galaxies and Love

2010-01-19T19:27:00.005-05:00

**Alert** This message may contain gushy romanticism. You have been warned.

Being an avid follower of all things space (minus the junk), I am fascinated by the motion of planets, stars and galaxies and their interaction between one another as part of a larger, more complex system. The celestial canvas has much in common with the relationship road-map by which we navigate in this Earth life. Our plotted ephemeris is, more often than not, influenced by the external forces of family and friends. So has my course been richly shaped. The planets have aligned in my solar network and it is truly wonderful; I am engaged to the girl of a thousand smiles, Alissa (pronounced Mona Lisa minus 'Mon').

I first met Alissa through the electronically-printed page and knew after reading just a few of her blog posts, that she was the girl I was going to marry - no joke - for time and all eternity. It is common knowledge that even when opportunity knocks, a man still has to get up off his seat and open the door, and no thousand mile journey to way-off door would deter this southern-bound traveler from making future. Open Sesame! Enter Beauty.

Great Balls of Goodness

2010-01-11T19:18:00.003-05:00

In the ever elusive quest to increase the gravitational force between myself and the center of the Earth, the fountain of fat remains yet to be discovered - but not on account of any dilly dallying mind you. Peradventure a savory morsel wanders within my arms reach, it's fate shall be sealed inside a mandibular prison.

There is one comestible that has of late attracted my attention. The macadamia nut packs quite a wallop (anybody know the history of the word 'wallop' by chance?); from the shores of it's fatty seas to it's mountainous peaks of fiber. With every bite, I welcome each conspicuous calorie. One, two, a bazillion... To borrow a phrase "it's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited."

So in the attempted style of Ogden Nash, I pen my ode to the Macadamia Nut:

Heavenly orbs of triumph,
Always sweet; never bitter,
Makes me feel oh so fitter.

Crazy Thing Happened at the Symphony

2009-12-31T22:46:00.002-05:00

After watching the following youtube recording I suppose they should start adding to the list of concertmaster responsibilities: "take over for the conductor under any circumstance - including the stabbing of hands via errant batonage." Indeed this concertmaster was well prepared to safely guide the ocean liner of strings, winds, percussion and brass to a resounding fine. He must have been a boy scout in his early years.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbIJMDNGC6o

Hand Over the Figgy Pudding or the Frog Gets It!

2009-12-13T22:01:00.002-05:00

Every Christmas season I relish in the family traditions which have survived the test of time. One particular tradition I enjoy is watching the Muppet's Christmas Carol. I don't know what it is that makes this movie so special to me but the feeling is unmistakable every time I watch it: gratitude. Gratitude for the blessings of a loving family, a warm home and friends kind and dear. Charles Dicken's character Bob Cratchet and Tiny Tim are da men. Their lives are full of gratitude, always seeing the good in everyone around them. This beautiful Christmas message echoes the selfless life of the Savior of the world who intimately knows each one of us. He sees the potential in all of us as children of God; may we be believing in the same.

And this duo can scat!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIX2OUETAfY

Is It A Cookie?!?

2009-12-03T23:39:00.002-05:00

What do you get when you mix someone as awesome as Kermit the Frog with someone just as awesome, even Cookie Monster? Simply the best clip on Earth, so take a look :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shbgRyColvE

Rump Roast?

Be More

2009-12-03T00:15:00.003-05:00

I am a commercial enthusiast. For the past several days, I have had a particular commercial on my mind. The cinematography is absolutely fabulous and the music selection rocks my eastern European roots. In addition, the one liner ending is unbeatable. Thank you PBS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILHrlhR4m4k

Feel the Pain

2009-11-17T00:35:00.003-05:00

This evening I had some time to revisit the first violin concerto I had ever performed, the Barber Violin Concerto. As I schmaltzed through the second movement I noticed that my teacher, then Eric Peterson of the CSO, had inscribed below a particularly melodramatic section the words "Feel the Pain". I can picture a skinny younger copy of me looking at that inscription and thinking "what on Earth does that mean?" Well today I finally felt the pain and it was good. If you have the time to spare, take a moment to listen and be enveloped in the musical satin of Samuel Barber:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFQqqC0I_GI

Happy and True

2009-11-15T23:53:00.004-05:00

This blog entry is graciously brought to you by the letters A (Aciphex), P (Protonix & Prilosec), and B (Beano). As I look back on this year in early review, I'm not sure I would have believed it if I was told that by year's end I’d be living back in Colorado in my parent's basement, yet despite the change in latitude (and altitude) I can't help but be grateful to know the Lord, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, has blessed me with the righteous desires of my heart.

Surely our Heavenly Father “knoweth what things [we] have need of, before [we] ask him.” Pondering this scripture has helped me to appreciate more fully the power of prayer and how through inspiration we can ask the ‘right’ things. Knowing what things I need to learn and do gives me the greatest satisfaction in my day.

The prophets teach that men (and women) should “be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness.” And if through the test of faith we feel as the prophet Nephi described, being “led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which he should do,” then rest assured that the Lord will not disparage nor leave us comfortless, for he promises the faithful, “I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.” This is especially true even when things don't exactly seem to be going our way as it was for the prophet Joseph Smith during some of the darkest days of his life, having been wrongfully accused by his closest friends and incarcerated in Liberty prison, and yet remaining steadfast in faith and in keeping the commandments. "Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you whom I love, and whom I love I also chasten that their sins may be forgiven." I know Heavenly Father is ever mindful of our needs. He hears and answers our humble petitions and prepares a way for our deliverance out of temptation's snare.

...but I must.

2009-11-11T00:29:00.004-05:00

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and it's the chocolate. The time has inevitably come that I must swear off the consumption of the cocoa bean or suffer the full wrath from Stomachland. Oh how I will miss you, brownie delight. The soft stir of your hot cocoa. Dark chocolate madness and peanut butter cups in all there varieties. My heart is heavy but I must bid you adieu. So farewell my good friends until we meet on sweeter terms...

For Crying Out Loud

2009-11-05T23:36:00.003-05:00

Researches have discovered that the cries of infants as young as three days old already reflect the language their parents speak. The study showed how certain French babies would cry in a rising melody contour such as ascending tones whereas German babies followed a descending melody contour true to their language form. Perhaps a study involving Swahili babies would reinforce this finding by revealing a percussive series of clicks in the babies outbursts.

It is quite remarkable to think that newborns have already learned the pattern of their native language just by observing their parents voices in utero. It would seem that our most rapid strides in learning take place in our infancy. Babies are like little mental sponges absorbing and analyzing vast amounts of data. Babies are also very efficient food processors and they like to poop, a lot.

We come into this mortal world having left from a much more exalted realm, a pre-mortal existence, learning and progressing as spirit children with our Father in Heaven. No wonder babies are quick studies, look where they all come from! As Wordsworth wrote, they come "trailing clouds of glory."

Sing Low Sweet Mammy

2009-11-04T20:14:00.008-05:00

So this is interesting stuff. In the Nov. 7 edition of Science News a marine researcher presents new findings in the ongoing science of juicy male laboratory love triangles. Contrary to popular belief (at least among the nerd herd), male humpback whales don't stake out their territory. This is probably because with all of the other junk floating around no one would be able to tell your scent or otherwise identity marker from the next rival - that and how does that even work in the ocean? Female humpbacks attract as many as three to eight males at a time. As a wandering male encounters the song of another nearby male, the singer begins to schmaltz up his solo; in effect showing off his improvisatory skills to the lady. And thus we see how science has proven once again that the male species is not to be outdone, especially by some twerp eyeing your woman.

Attention Public School Educators

2009-10-20T23:32:00.005-04:00

Your work can go overlooked sometimes. It's hard work that requires the utmost patience and perseverance, so you deserve a moment to sit back and enjoy the following sound byte:

This is the message that the Maroochydore High School, Queensland, Australia staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.

New Sensation

2009-10-13T00:03:00.002-04:00

While at the dentist's office for a cleaning, my permanent bottom retainer wire sprung loose much to my horror. Dentist said he didn't have time to take it out, so he graciously referred me to an orthodontist friend of his. For the remainder of the day I ate on the right side of mouth trying to evade the protruding metal hook from almost certain disaster. Well today I am a new man having rid myself of the wire prison that held me captive for a good 14 years. The sensation in my mouth is extraordinary. To quote an animated sitcom writer "It's like there's a party in my mouth, and everyone's invited!" Sooo strange but exciting now that I can floss freely and uninhibited. The world is my oyster and I intend to eat it all!

'Tis A Gift To Be Simple

2009-10-12T00:38:00.003-04:00

Tonight after doing some home teaching with my dad, we bundled up and took the traditional Sunday walk. I was in a particular inquisitive mood and so I got to ask him all sorts of questions ranging from his boyhood neighborhood friends to family vacations. There is so much I don't know about his youth and I wonder how many of us of the younger generation actually have given much thought to what growing up must have been like 50 years ago, indeed, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth.

I'm grateful for these one-on-one moments. I can learn so much from them. For example, I asked my dad how we was able to deal with so many low-blows throughout his career. He responded exuberantly that the Lord had always provided avenues for him to make a living even in the bleakest of times. It was never an easy road, it required sacrifice and diligent effort, but the Lord provided for our family. This heartfelt testimony from a parent can be one of the most powerful influences on a child. There is a grand purpose to this life and it begins and ends with family.

http://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/

Brand Spankin' New Nephew

2009-10-02T23:54:00.003-04:00

Last weekend in CA I got to see the first time this side of the veil my new wittle nephew, Forster Kuzmich Paget. He's one healthy baby who loves his momma and didn't mind all the grabbing for attention as long as there was plenty of food and good burpage included. And something I heard this week reminded me about the fascinating transistion into mortality. As LDS church doctrine goes, we believe that before this earth life we all lived as spirit children with our Heavenly Father, learning the true principles of His gospel and what would eventually be our next step in our eternal progression (i.e. coming to earth, getting a body, *eating In-N-Out burgers, etc...).

I've always had the distinct impression when I see a newborn that they carry with them a clear memory of their heavenly home. Apart from their cries and other gurgling petitions, what if their tongues could be loosed just for a moment and they could speak to our understanding? What would they tell us or remind us of?

Last year I helped out in the primary with all the kiddos during church and during our brief lessons when we could actually keep their attention away from screaming their lungs out for Mom or running wildly around the room, we would occasionally hear some simple yet powerfully deep thought uttered from their little mouths in response to whatever the lesson happened to be on. It reminds me of the scripture in Alma 32:23 "And now, he imparteth his word by angels unto men, yea, not only men but women also. Now this is not all; little children do have words given unto them many times, which confound the wise and the learned." Very cool indeed. General Conference weekend is upon us and I'm excited to hear some more inspirational thoughts from apostles and prophets.

Here's Rhys and Liz aka the "A team" with baby Forster:

* - not essential but definitely worth it if you have the chance.

Does a Body Good

2009-09-21T19:58:00.003-04:00

It just hurts. Hurts to keep my insides from busting into laughter when I watch people struggle to stay professional once an unexpected humor bug strikes. For instance, take this talk show host (hyperlink below) who once you think he's got it in under control, can't clench his teeth hard enough to keep the fit from spilling out. This healthy spasmodic behavior does a body good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BjTUj-_Mxs

Tips for Worker Productivity

2009-09-17T23:01:00.005-04:00

It has been said that if you're not confused, you're not paying attention. Well that would perfectly describe my day at work; a day-long conference full of power point slides busting at the margins with too much information. The poor gentlemen sitting in front of me (who I found out later was a genius) kept nodding off during the presentations. It took all the control I had not to focus on his bobbing head, and for a moment I felt as if I had finally prevailed, but then like the yank of a lawn mower cord his head would jerk back up only to tragically repeat history once more.

So this brings up a good question: how do you stay awake at work? Let me share a few exercises that can be done right in the privacy of your own cubicle; however, if that's not an option, try the parking lot or an abandoned elevator shaft. First, raise one foot and try balancing while periodically bringing one hand to your nose. This will probably look silly so you should only do this if you are not overly self conscious and/or have a sweet headband:

And if exercise isn't your thing, then perhaps eating is. Raisins get the saliva glands pumping, ripe apples always have a good kick and opening a can of tuna is like opening a can of 'Hello World' ocean potpourri. Crazy as they sound they all work and will keep you working, right up until it's time to go to the restroom.

Hurrah for Israel!

2009-09-15T21:38:00.008-04:00

If there's one thing I love about my church, it's that the apostles and prophets say it how it is. For example, in this month's First Presidency Message about the 'Influence of Righteous Women,' president Heber J. Grant was quoted as saying "without the devotion and absolute testimony of the living God in the hearts of our mothers, this Church would die."

This afternoon, a most amusing sight caught my eye:

It would seem that this male behavior stems from the void of certain femininity. Look how still these male specimens lie on the pavement as if immobilized by the thought; "What's for dinner?" Surely left to their own devices, men would slowly solidify into statues, and some hungry statues at that. But honestly, where on Earth would we be without the righteous women in our lives? Most likely up the creek, paddle-less, and hopelessly lost despite the extra concentration of iron in our noses.

Elder Uchtdorf sums it up well, ".. you [women] are endowed with a divine birthright. You are the real builders of nations wherever you live, because strong homes of love and peace will bring security to any nation. The virtue of your own life will be a light to those who sit in darkness, because you are a living witness of the fullness of the gospel."

My (little) Mountain

2009-09-03T21:40:00.011-04:00

At just over 6800 feet above the fishies stands Green Mountain, the doorbell to the Rocky Mountains. Having spent much of my youth frolicking on it's lower steppes I felt like I was connected to my eminent friend; however, it has been only in the past few years that I have discovered my new playground of trails and stunning panoramic views.

Prophets in the scriptures would on several occasions climb to the tops of mountains and other high places to speak with God and receive His divine counsel. In somewhat similar fashion I too have trekked the heights seeking answers to prayer, and come away with a thankful heart.

After several days of haze, the clouds finally parted and I took full advantage of the weather to share a few pictures to y'all (click on the pictures for greater resolution):

Strange Brew

2009-08-31T00:06:00.003-04:00

In an attempt to cure the mysteriously persistent stomach problems, I have accepted to trial a most bizarre herbal concoction from my dearest mother. In preparation we needed to ascertain a few dark glass bottles but having none, chose to improvise them with a few black sharpie markers and duct tape. No, I have not lost my marbles, I've simply misplaced my trust in western medicine for a time :)

After stewing the herbs and other ingredients for a good 12 hours it was finally ready to serve. In all honesty it wasn't as bad as I thought, nothing at all like mom's hot tati recipe of death. So here's a toast to vitality and may you live to a hundred years!

Just Eat It.

2009-08-15T22:37:00.006-04:00

Flabbergast: to overcome with surprise and bewilderment; astound. This best describes my reaction when I found out Dad would be cooking for Grandpa during his trips to SoCal. I mean no insult when I say, this is the man whose idea of cooking revolves around bread and its conversion into toast.

Despite the bad wrap, I am thankful for my father's long-standing commitment to "just eat it." Truth be known, one of my biggest peeves is a picky eater. Perhaps if a 'no picky eating' lifestyle were adopted, there would be world peace. Hear me out; increased consumption of fruits, vegetables and fiber will lead to a grand exodus of gastrointestinal fumes, relieving stress and improving consistency. This boost in mental health will certainly help people better cope with one another and thus lay the ground work for global harmony. No picky eaters in my house I say. Choose you this day what you shall eat.

Manly Skills

2009-08-06T19:04:00.004-04:00

As part of my daily googling, I learned that "wrestling is one of Mongolia’s age-old 'Three Manly Skills' (along with horsemanship and archery)." Thankfully I am not deplete of the essence of manliness. But had I been reared in the steppes of Asia I would have become a great proficient. I can picture myself in jodag (a tight, collarless, heavy-duty short-sleeved jacket) and gutal (leather boots) creating no small stir among Mongolian women.

Other skills I believe are worthy of "manliness" are:

Yak Riding and
Flossing

It's Eatin' Time

2009-07-27T21:06:00.006-04:00

I heard some staggering statistics today about the rising costs of health care. Approximately 9 cents of every dollar spent on health care goes toward treating obesity-caused illnesses, culminating in a whopping 93 billion dollars every year! I read such findings and wonder how is it that some people can pack on weight effortlessly while other people, like me who go to extraordinary effort, manage only to evaporate weight by way of processing a few brainwaves and ka-ZAM it disappears into 'thin' air. Well, patience is a virtue I suppose. The journey of a thousand juicy meatball sandwiches starts with just one bite, and I intend to finish that journey.

Consider the Lilies...

2009-07-25T19:16:00.004-04:00

Quick Update to my peeps: I accepted a job offer with Lockheed Martin in Boulder, CO starting in the not-too-distant future. So as my eastern excursion comes to a close, I've reflected upon some of the things I've learned while in this beautiful part of the country. There are spiritual giants living in Binghamton NY. People that give unselfishly of their time, talents and everything with which they have been blessed to comfort and give aide to others.

Yesterday I was privileged to experience the wonders of modern medicine in the form of a technologically modified garden hose. Jamming this pricey contraption down my esophagus yielded no buried treasure or other abnormalities which in one way is comforting to know. A good sister in the ward drove me to and from the hospital, wrote down the doctor's diagnosis, and made sure I had food to eat at home. This and many other acts of genuine kindness have taught me that the Lord is truly mindful of the needs of His children and that through the promptings of the Holy Spirit, each of us can help build the kingdom of God. His tender mercies are all around us once we awaken our spiritual eyes to behold and receive them.

Be Excellent To Yourselves

2009-07-18T19:29:00.007-04:00

For some time now my health has been anything but regular, though lately I've found a few ways to keep my mind and body at ease. Morning and afternoon walks through nearby Highland Park are relaxing, but add some pseudo Tai Chi Yoga and you've got a world of awesomeness. I always stop at my special post and begin warm-ups followed by an improvisatory routine of Tai Chi, learned from a DVD I ordered at Amazon.com, coupled with brief and simple Yoga poses found on the internet. In a strange way I feel like Rocky as he trains for the next big fight or Karate Kid as he balances on a pier, striking a sweet pose, and peering out into the deep expansive ocean. Sure the onlookers probably wonder what that tall skinny white dude is up to, but to me, I only hear the soft brushing of leaves in the wind. But enough soliloquy, go to your happy place(s)!

Que pasa conmigo?

2009-07-07T21:00:00.004-04:00

My body is trying to tell me something important, though in a foreign language. I'm just trying to figure out how a 27 year old, relatively disease-free individual, could contract a 2+ week episode of furiously constant (nigh unto insanity) heartburn having no prior history of acid reflux? Diet changes and acid-reducing drugs seem to have only temporary effect.

I suspect fowl play.

The Idle Mind

2009-06-22T21:31:00.003-04:00

The adage goes "The idle mind is the devil's workshop." I am currently battling an idle state at work due to program cuts and doing my best not to succumb to the ill effects of cerebral scurvy. The corporate compliance training courses have begun to invade my REM sleep with their ethics dialogue. On the plus side I know that if I ever have a question about export control that I can always go to the export control lady whose office spans the coastal beaches of Peru and is a Karate Grandmaster. Freaky dreams aside, idleness is a very real danger and I'm beginning to see just how many things in my day-to-day life are affected by that rotten scoundrel. Awake and arise, O ye slumbering nations!

It's All Fluff

2009-06-13T23:24:00.002-04:00

Fluffy pancakes, fluffy biscuits, and now fluffy galaxies. For years scientists have been perplexed by observations which reveal ‘fluffy’ central regions of merging elliptical galaxies where large black holes reside. As these supermassive black holes unceremoniously binge-eat neighboring stars like Denny’s grand slam specials, one would expect to see a bend rather than a bulge at their cosmic core. Thanks to a team of astronomers made up from Germany and the US, the paradox can now be fully explained, though, in nerd talk. To save you from absolute nebulosity, here’s the gist:

Stellar buffet-style comes with a price. When two supermassive black holes enter the same hen house, feathers fly as rival Alpha-males dance-off to a rendition of MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This” while the backlash from their sweet awesome moves slingshots the whole coup of stars off into space and thus giving rise to a fluffy ending.

Just Say No

2009-06-12T22:27:00.004-04:00

Attention all dietary and fiber-conscience consumers *STOP* Mild side effect found in FiberOne bars *STOP* Bloating and flatulence will not stop *STOP*

I am a young and relatively health-minded individual, intimately acquainted with a vast array of trigger comestibles and their "undesired effects" upon the human body. For example, five years ago on a lazy summer day I discovered how ingesting copious amounts of dried prunes may speed up the delicate process of the digestive tract. Unbeknown to me, chicory root extract is a not-so-distant relative to my dried prune buddies. And to evince you of the truth of such claims, take a closer look at the the nutritional facts on the side of the box:

As you can see, a single serving of one bar contains 9 grams of fiber (or ~35% of your daily valuable assuming a 2,000 daily calorie intake), yet despite this figure, the health benefits do not outweigh the potential risk of unleashing a staggering 490g of total farts (or roughly a DV of %6000) into the atmosphere. So what does this mean to the average working Joe? It means you stay in your cubicle, act normal and if anyone offers you a bag of dried prunes, just say no.

And that's the recipe for makin' love...

2009-06-07T19:53:00.007-04:00

Whenever I see a elderly couple playfully banter back and forth I think about how awesome it must be to grow old with someone you love and adore. Such a life-long journey can't all be baked to cheesecake perfection. Avoiding the undercooked lima bean pie takes persistent practice. Whatever your baking skills may be, a hearty helping of love seasoned with charming humor is sure to bring a smile. So here's to smiling and whatever the future may hold:

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the swimming pool."

Who wants to make some Moo-lah?

2009-06-05T15:57:00.002-04:00

I've have been hopelessly calling every licensed massage therapist in the greater binghamton area in hopes to secure a measly 30 min tour de force on my lactic acid metropolis of a back before tomorrow's concert. For the past few days I have held the elusive beast at bay by ramming my back into the corners of walls (or door knobs); yet despite the momentary relief, the muscle aches migrate to other safer resorts. Are massages so high in demand these days that not even well intentioned bribery can prevail? Well, perhaps the neighbors wouldn't mind stepping on my back...

Steeerike!

2009-05-28T20:05:00.011-04:00

It's three strikes and you're out in the old ball game. And well, for those of us not up to such high archaic standards, how about until you hit the ball?

Becoming one with the *foam* ball.

And striking a mighty blow for scrawny people everywhere!

Of Math and Men

2009-05-25T09:37:00.006-04:00

In Elder Robert D. Hales April 2009 general conference talk, he taught that we should become provident providers temporally and spiritually. He said, "Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior" In addition he stressed that "Our success is never measured by how strongly we are tempted but by how faithfully we respond." Upon reading that last phrase, the gears in my nerd-of-a-brain began to turn...

Linking engineering principles to life lessons and the eternities is not a strong point of mine, yet this dynamic system is of particular interest to me. As I recall from analog feedback controls coursework, time domain parameters such as overshoot, rise time, settling time and ringing for a given system may be analyzed to design a controller to help minimize those undesired quantities. But controllers aside, "Formally, knowing the step response of a dynamical system gives information on the stability of such a system, and on its ability to reach one stationary state when starting from another," as cut and pasted from our friends at Wikipedia :)

So how does this control theory jargon apply to you and me in a spiritual sense? Simply put, as sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father (second order systems), our faithful (optimal) response in giving head to spiritual promptings (e.g., analog or digital system inputs) will determine our success and happiness (system stability) in this life and the life to come and how we can mature spiritually as exemplified by the Savior, from "grace to grace" (i.e. ability to transition from one state to another), until at the end we reach that perfect day (no overshoot, rise time is near instantaneous, and settling time and ringing are n/a).

And just so you don't think I'm trying to pull a fast one on you, here's a snapshot of the step response for a common second order system:

A la Finale

2009-05-11T22:11:00.004-04:00

Today after work I opened up an unfinished song from last year. I have the habit of writing a few measures of something just to hear the sound but rarely ever resolve it. So in the spirit of tying up loose ends, have a listen:

Paint the Town Yellow

2009-05-09T21:39:00.005-04:00

As some of you may know, I do not particularly favor the game of paint ball - I'm much more of a Frisbee or ping pong player. Lately, I've played a few rounds with some friends just to "help out" and even up the teams. It is not in my nature to scramble through the trees in search of human targets while hopelessly avoiding future welts; however, it has come to my attention that I am lacking in the assertiveness department and as such, need some fine tuning. I suppose that paint ball is a good vehicle to face my weakness and embrace the call to arms, along with a few shots to the groin (see "take it like a man" blog entry). So here's me, keeping it real:

You Can Do It

2009-05-02T12:38:00.005-04:00

No doubt your parents or teachers have emphasized time and time again that if you put your mind to something, no matter how difficult, you can do anything. Might I suggest putting your mind to eating the biggest juiciest burger you can find and then try belching the entire alphabet (preferably in the privacy of your living quarters), and remember, practice makes perfect.

Acclaimed author, poet and playwright Oscar Wilde once wittingly remarked, "In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." My take on this phrase is that a "no pain no gain" mentality can help one to avoid contracting "social hernias" brought on from past regrets. In essence, it is imperative to understand and be willing at times to "take it like a man," especially when life gives you atomic lemons. But can this really be healthy? Of course, just as healthy as getting sucker punched or the age old character building experience of explosive diarrhea. But like all helpful advice, be prudent and act responsibly (e.g. do not operate heavy machinery whilst "taking it like a man").

What Goes Around Comes Around

2009-04-29T21:49:00.004-04:00

It has been said that 43% of Americans who undergo an unnecessary medical tests on a routine checkup. My trip to the doctor's office this week was not by any means a routine visit. So far and counting this has been the second time I was subjected to a CT scan and no they are not fun but the radiologist did say I had the strongest veins she'd ever worked on. It turns out that my symptoms of gnarly stomach spasms had nothing to with appendicitis (thankfully!) but rather a mixed bag of severe abdominal exertion and killer gas. That's right, the silent but deadly culprit is real and who knows the next time the villainy will strike again. The strangely funny thing about this experience was that I think I contributed to my distress by scrubbing down my entire apartment with the greatest of degree of detail over the weekend - how's that for wild and crazy?!?

So from now on, it's all about keeping myself from doing really stupid things.

¡Olé!

2009-04-25T21:43:00.004-04:00

It's 85 degrees Fahrenheit here and the beach is so far! But even that didn't stop me from buying swimming trunks today. Ever since I got back from San Diego last week from my brother's wedding I have been craving Mexican food like no one's business and it just so happens that I live in the one part of the country more aloof and unaware of the glorious comestibles south of the border. While keeping my healthy addiction at bay may be a good thing, not feeding my taco-dependent body has been linked to the following symptoms:

Unexplained Rage
Dizziness,
Taste Bud Revolting, and
Depression

Luckily I was able eat enough to avoid developing any of these symptoms, and instead experiencing:

Stretch Marks,
*Weight Gain, and
Complete Nirvana (thanks Rhys and Liz!)

* - Sadly effects are only temporary

My Calling Card

Ask and Ye Shall Recieve

2009-04-21T19:56:00.005-04:00

I learned an enlightening truth recently: the weaknesses of our mortal bodies help us to appreciate the Savior's Atonement in taking upon himself the "pains and the sicknesses of his people," (Alma 7:11). In a very real sense I was awakened to just how true that scripture is and the power of availing blessings. Three weeks ago I was exercising in the gym - perhaps stretching a little aggressively - followed by several rehearsals and a concert of the Mozart Requiem. These "normal" activities somehow triggered a series of back pains that left me a rigid walking corpse until yesterday, as I laid in bed experiencing frightening back and leg spasms, and ultimately came to the aforementioned realization: Ask for priesthood blessings. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is a free and miraculous gift to all who seek comfort when all hope seems to fade.

In light of these circumstances and also remembering the fact that there sits a sparkly corporate medical benefits plan totally untouched atop the top shelf like a proverbial cookie jar, I stuck my hand in a pulled out a chiropractor visit. Today happened to be my first "adjustment" which is just a fancy way for saying man-handled by a fully licensed professional 'bent' on subluxation jargon. This is not a sugar coated experience by any means especially for first timers such as myself; however, it sure beats the alternative. I did learn one helpful tip that saved me quite a bit of sleep last night: sleep on the floor.

not on the stomach silly :)

To Bake or Not To Bake

2009-04-13T20:39:00.005-04:00

It is written that if your eye should offend you, to pluck it out and cast it away. Well, just so happens that crumby bread is no exception. Last night I set the bread master to bake a delicious loaf of honey wheat goodness only to discover a hardened lump of gluten plastered to the inside of the bread machine. May this be a lesson to all: eye-balling a bread recipe is bad. very bad...

Precise measurements are crucial and great care should be taken to ensure correct ingredient amount, nigh unto the atomic weight. So I ended up making my regular pbj sandwich on butt bread today which tasted just like it sounds, though looking on the brighter side, I think I've invented a material more resilient than articular cartilage.

Stereos and Types of People Listening

2009-04-03T22:21:00.004-04:00

I've been skimming through a book collection of funny jokes & quotes and came across a most rip roaring entry by John Molyneux published in the Bulletin:

"A minister was urged by his congregation to explain the difference between heaven and hell. 'They're not as different as you might think,' he said. 'In heaven, the British are the policemen, the Germans are the mechanics, the Swiss run the trains, the French do the cooking, and the Italians are the lovers. In hell, only minor changes take place. The Germans are the policemen, the French are the mechanics, the Italians run the trains, the British do the cooking, and the Swiss are making love.' "

Moochas Smoochas por el Con-KISS-tador

2009-03-26T22:03:00.007-04:00

I make it a point not to waste the readers time with trivial and unimportant matters. I shall therefore make mention of a fantastic study from Rutgers University involving the messages perceived by the brain from dynamic labia oris fusion (aka kissing). So what hidden meaning may the male cerebral cortex be processing during a romantic kiss? Besides the obvious, Helen Fisher reports that men may be monitoring estrogen levels, which would "let them know where the woman is in the fertility cycle." And from the female side, researchers believe they may be able to detect differences in immune system types, potentially identifying individuals with "complementary immunity leading to healthier offspring with a broad range of disease resistance." In the end, though, none of us really care because if the message you get back says this person had been chewing on garlic cloves like honey-nut cheerios, then amen to that kiss.

Crowd Control

2009-03-25T21:54:00.002-04:00

Throughout the ages of mankind's rumble and tumble upon the earth, numerous methods have been employed for the scattering of mobs, protesters, and other mad herding bovine. Science continues to play a pivotal role in developing more "humane" ways to do the job and now the promise of "safe" dispersion is just around the bend. Coined the Active Denial System (ADS), this highly effective tool emits a beam with millimeter-wavelength to shock the stubbornness out of just any living organism. The weapon is reportedly "not painful, but rather makes the target feel as if his or her clothes are going to catch fire." The dawn of the ray gun has arrived - and I wonder why more kids don't want to study math and science.

Endicott Enquirer

2009-03-21T23:09:00.004-04:00

Imagine you're all alone in a thicket of trees. Then all of a sudden, add shooting projectiles whizzing past your head and the adrenaline rush of an impala on an all-out sprint for its life and you get me playing my first game of paintball. Luckily I came out with less bruises than expected partly due to my ingenious strategy - concealing myself entirely behind trees by virtue of my naturally thin frame. To usurp the the rumor, paintball bruises do not hurt - granted they miss the groin, fingers and neck (in that order); however, one of our guys wasn't so lucky on exceptions-to-rumor # 1. Needless to say, I learn quickly from the mistakes of others. Next time I'm bringing a cup - or trash can lids.

I wore a tie to work and caused an office upheaval. Everyone was asking me if I had an interview or a big presentation that day but in fact I had just wanted to wear the new shirt, shoes and tie I got at a fantastic discount from Kohls. In the past two weeks I have spent a pretty penny at said department store acquiring new cooking ware and clothing among other fanciful yet utilitarian items. I am pleased when I find bargains and now that I have 'some' disposable income I can be a little less stringent from my college days of not buying anything that wasn't absolutely necessary* to keep myself alive (*not including Chipotle burritos).

The weather is beginning to smile upon the inhabitants of Binghamton. I hope there's enough time to enjoy the Spring foliage like the autumn colors of last October. Beauteous!

Celebration Time C'mon!

2009-03-11T22:12:00.004-04:00

You've just dominated your opponent and now it's time for the victory dance. Yeah you! Your 5 minutes of fame has finally arrived. So go ahead and soak it up. You deserve it. Spend it lavishly, just like this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJn5L1nrkL4

and the secret ingredient is ...

2009-03-07T10:54:00.005-05:00

Salt. Good ole' crushed-up sodium chloride table salt. One 1/2 teaspoon of the magic powder will do wonders to pumpkin pie among other baked goods and without it the teased taste buds will rise up in rebellion as I found out yesterday.

For those that are unawares, I am a sunbeam teacher (ages 3-4?) in Sunday school and for two hours each Sunday I sing songs and teach the kids about Jesus and not about hitting each other. It's actually beginning to get better from only a few weeks ago when the kids would scream for Mommy or run around the room losing various articles of clothing along the way. I've found that the best way I can keep their attention is by playing my violin for them and bringing other interesting props. For example, I brought in a a piece of fruit to represent the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil and got a little carried away:

In other news I bought a top-of-the-line Belgian waffle maker that oddly enough made me a smidgen giggly. I was about to buy some other cooking items like a huge wok or an earthshaking spatula but decided against it as their massive dimensions would serve me little purpose other than to clobber intruders. Though I suppose I could then restore them back to health with tasty waffles...

What makes you smile?

2009-03-02T20:44:00.002-05:00

Today as I was walking between a forest of buildings I caught a midday glance of the outside world. I saw the sun and it painted a smile on my face. Maybe it's Old Man Winter but the perpetual gray skies that hang over Binghamton have zapped the zest of life out of me. Now I can't wait for Spring to arrive and then, Smokin' Lady Summer!

I watched the Sound of Music last weekend and found myself singing "Do Re Mi" all day long. That also made me smile. And did you ever realize what a babe Liezel was? Sure she's probably around my mother's age now but thanks to the gift of motion picture she is forever fine.

Motown Mochi

2009-02-21T22:59:00.004-05:00

The popular Motown group The Contours, came through Binghamton this evening on a singing tour of the classic hits from yesteryear accompanied by an orchestra and rhythm section and it was certainly the most unique gig I think I've ever played. These guys shook the roof, thanks in part to modern-day amplifier technology, and did there own choreography all decked out in sparkly suits. We played hits from The 4 Tops, Miracles, and Temptations and it felt like opening a door to the sixties - not that I've been there or anything.

Earlier today I helped make some strawberry filled Mochi - a Japanese desert - with some friends and it was rich in flavor and texture. It also happens to be one of the messier foods to make. There must a direct correlation between the quality of foods and the amount of cleanup required afterward.

Laundering Monies

2009-02-16T21:22:00.003-05:00

Did you know that Canadian quarters don't work in washing machines here in the states? For the last two months I have not been able to use the drying machine in my apartment complex on account of the jamming coin slot - which has made for a grand first northeast winter. Well turns out I just discovered a rogue coin from the north country in my laundry money. I can't help but wonder how much of this 'legal tough' has managed to infiltrate this country's laundromats over the years? And maybe that's the cause behind the economic turmoil; we've been using pesos! No, that's silly. I guess what I'm trying to say is next time a vending machine spits back at you, you best check for dubious dinars.

Eternal Perspective

2009-02-12T19:13:00.002-05:00

It's February and getting closer to marking a year living here in upstate New York. I can't help but think about the future and where I see myself a year from now. Growing up as a child I always knew that following year I would progress to the next grade. Life was simple back then, relatively speaking. Plotting the course to pursue in life year-by-year was never a mystery to me, however, I'm discovering that the basic equations of life I used back then are beginning to unravel into arrays of abstract theories and disjointed proofs. To say it another way, I'm asking more the "why's" and "how's", not the "when's" and "where's".

All of this thinking has prompted me to remember to always keep an eternal perspective in all that I do. Having this beyond-line-of-sight can help clear the less-insignificant cobwebs and obstructions in life that creep up all around. It makes the little things each day worth living and the big things just that much more. In essence, having an eternal perspective helps one find joy in the journey.

My random thought for the day is brought to you by the letter A, as in air. Air has many stunning uses as you know and one of particular awesomeness is insulation. I guess everything is an insulator to some degree, but next time you unplug a current-happy cord from an electrical socket and sparks shoot out, think about how wonderful air is for keeping you safe from Mr. Zap and his ionizing buddies.

FebCon 2009

2009-02-08T18:54:00.007-05:00

This weekend I had the special opportunity to attend a YSA (young single adult) conference for my church held at Cornell University in Ithaca, NY. The primary reason for these types of get-togethers is so that YSA's have the chance to meet and make lasting friendships. Often many will travel several hours (at least on the east coast) to attend these conferences. A spiritual theme highlights the various events and workshops; the theme for this conference was "Joy in the Journey." I was so impressed by some the talks that were given which covered: Spiritual Guidance in Adversity, Lifelong Learning and Interfaith Understanding.

Cornell is the kind of school that the typifies the movie 'Dead Poet's Society.' As I walked the corridors of the gothic-like construction I could almost hear the paintings on the wall of generations past chant "Carpe Diem" - or perhaps it was my stomach fond of a lunch break.

I had a blast, met a lot of new friends and even managed to get my groove on. One of the crazy activities Saturday night was a battle royal of Ice Soccer and it's pretty much what the name implies. Picture an ice rink, two goals, a soccer ball and ~30 people falling all over their rumps feverishly attempting to dribble the ball in street shoes. It's a miracle no one managed to crack their skull open but honestly I cannot remember the last time I had this much fun. Slide tackles and body checking were no strangers on the ice but rather a sense of the vertical. Needless to say we were all incredibly sore the next day in church - and there was much rejoicing...

25 Not-So Admirable Professions (in no particular order)

2009-02-04T17:39:00.004-05:00

The jury is in, and the verdict is FAIL for the following list of professions:

1) Professional Male Wrestling
2) Video game instructor
3) Anything to do with 'Adult Only'
4) Whoopee cushion manufacturer
5) Fake ID/Visa/Passport dealers
6) Sea Shepperd
7) Lumber jacking on protected land
8) Pimps & company
9) Anything to do with the Tobacco industry
10) Casino & online gambling
11) Spam mailers
12) Identity phishing
13) Mafia henchmen or other muscle for hire
14) Astrologer
15) Day trader
16) Bingo caller on a cruise ship
17) Lawyers (the kind that preys on the weaknesses of society)
18) Politician (the kind that is bought with the right price)
19) Professional beggars
20) Illegal immigration 'coyote' smugglers
21) Narcotics Dealer
22) Patent 'Whores'
23) Get-rich-quick scam artists
24) Weapons smuggling
25) Seal Clubbing

There ye be warned. But enough of the obvious, there are a myriad of jobs that fall in between the Admirable and Not-So Admirable spectrum. One of the many odd things about myself is my fascination with reading first-hand accounts of hilariously crumby jobs and laughing along. So with that, what's the worst job you ever had?

Dallin vs. Dinner

2009-02-01T20:21:00.005-05:00

The last few weeks have been part of my "what tastes good" dinner preparation experiment. My goal is to eventually have a 7-day meal plan where each entree is simple, tasty, and not exceeding an hour to prepare. So far many recipes have run the gauntlet of my kitchen though few ever surviving the 'nose' knows test. That's right, my nose is the most accurate sensory organ in my body, which draws no small attention to my unique dinner table etiquette. Call me strange but I keep a digital record of most successful dinner recipes for future reference. Just to showcase the past few days:

Monte Cristo Sandwiches

Missionary Surprise a la Polski (bread makes anything Polish - just ask my dad)

Balsamic and Garlic Chicken breasts

Chicken fingers with apricot sauce

25 Admirable Professions (in no particular order)

2009-01-29T19:25:00.006-05:00

Lately I've been thinking about people I admire which has led me to think about their chosen professions. Here's the list I compiled:

1) Snow Plowers
2) Rocket Scientists
3) Farmers
4) IT gurus
5) FDA scientists/quality assurance personnel
6) Firemen
7) Commercial Airline Pilots
8) Public Works - including Garbage men!
9) Music Teachers
10) Micro Drivers in Santiago, Chile
11) Surgeons
12) Policemen
13) Orchestra pit musicians
14) Beekeepers
15) Public School Teachers
16) Engineers
17) Air Traffic Controllers
18) Truck Driver
19) Dispatcher
20) Nurses
21) Military servicemen and women
22) Dentists
23) Supply Chain Managers - thanks Jared!
24) Chefs
25) Mothers

Next weeks list: 25 Not-so Admirable Professions

For the Good of the Company

2009-01-27T19:29:00.004-05:00

I came across an insightful article written in November '08 and I would like to make mention of it just in case you missed the memo. In an effort to boost the declining birthrate in the country, Japanese companies are urging their committed employees to "go home, play with their children, and make more babies." I can see that albeit their efforts are not purely philanthropic, workers just don't grow on trees (especially the ones willing to work 7-day weeks). So next time an employee from the Nippon Oil Corp. calls in to say he'll be working from home that day - he ain't kidding! I can't help but wonder the last time a similar measure was encouraged in the annals of history? Any thoughts?

In other news, I cooked-up a fresh pot of homemade chicken soup last Saturday and then promptly seasoned it with salt & pepper and garden seasoning. Nothing. Then I added some garlic powder and cumin. Still no difference in taste. I have yet to deduce the root cause behind the mysteriously strong kick which now holds my soup captive though I have a general idea that it started with the thought, "hey, I have Cajun seasoning!" Luckily I discovered an easy fix to stomach said spicy stew: hearty servings of barbecue sauce.

Now that's a happy ending.

Got Power?

2009-01-23T16:52:00.009-05:00

Growing concern of harnessing enough cheap and reliable energy in the world today has many wondering what is to be done. For centuries, man has relied heavily on the decomposed remains of the dinosaurs (and their breakfast) to heat his home and cook his stew. This murky goo, together with Santa's naughty list stocking stuffers and natural 'essence of bean' reserves, supply roughly two-thirds the world's electrical power today, however, each of these sources will eventually 'run dry' in the sense that one day in the not-too distant future when little Tommy comes home from school and turns on his favorite television cartoon "Mutant Parasitic Invaders from Mars," all of a sudden the screen will go dark as with every other fossil fuel dependent outlet, just when it is starting to look good for General Mucus and the Nasal brigade.

The push for 'greener' technologies is becoming more promising as scientific breakthroughs hurdle once-formidable physical barriers yet despite this, their price tags become even greater obstacles. So in the end, what is to be done you may ask? I think we stay the R&D course, build more nuclear energy plants, and in the words of Civil War Admiral David G. Farragut: "D*** the torpedoes, full speed ahead!"

Real Pirates wear Arrrrrrr-gyle

2009-01-19T20:00:00.005-05:00

A few weeks ago it was reported in the news that Somalian hijackers of an oil tanker had drowned in the ocean after departing with their ransom money in a small ship. This cruel irony illustrates just how much pirates nowadays have lost touch with their once savvy ways, where popular phrases such as "shiver me timbers" and "thar she blows" are now substituted with duds like "let's have honest negotiations." In the end, the cause of this cultural identity crisis can be summed up in two words: bad karma.

This would be a good time to remember your roots and the living heritage of your forefathers (and mothers). As for me, I'm remembering the Kuzmiches, Turks and Bachnovic's. The Links, Mauss's, and Koelch. Families can be together forever, learn how!

Another Day of Miracles

2009-01-15T19:29:00.008-05:00

If you've seen the news today then you've seen video footage of the plane wreckage of US Airways Flight 1549 slowly drifting into a watery grave and passengers awaiting rescue on wings of mercy. All in all it was amazing no one was killed and none seriously injured. I drive over the Susquehanna River four times a day going to work and when I see large chucks of ice floating by I get the most haunting image of what it would be like to fall victim to its icy grasp.

The events which transpired prior to the engine failures are still under investigation but wide-spread speculation points the principal cause to B.I.R.D.S. (Blasted Incoming Radar Deceptive Seagulls). Government sources like the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration) confirm that these random and interspersed types of collisions are increasing for two reasons: the environment is cleaner and airplanes are quieter. I can't say I'd enjoy living in a dump, so as a solution I recommend aviation experts learn a thing or two from the pimped-out rides of South Central LA. I mean would you go near a vehicle that made your head vibrate from ear to ear?

In other news, I'm throwing away the four frozen boxes of Perogies I purchased on sale at the grocery store on account of the massive heartburn I suffered after consuming several of the fiery darts for dinner. *grumble grumble grumble*

Do - Re - Mi - Ski - Tow

2009-01-10T19:01:00.006-05:00

I read a most interesting scientific study today on the musical matchmaking of mosquitoes. Long have bug scientists suspected male mosquitoes capable of audibly locating their future mates - usually talking on the phone - however recent findings suggest the siren call is but a prelude to their romantic endeavors. The beating of the female's wings produces a fundamental tone around 400Hz whereas the male sings a little higher at 600Hz. These tones do not begin to set the mood until they come within close proximity and - yes you guessed it music major geeks! - a harmonic overtone will resonate, which just happens to be love potion No. 1200Hz signaling Arthropod "go time." This higher frequency, thought to reside beyond the mosquitoes audible radar, is likened unto the whisperings of sweet nothings. Moral of the study: don't stop humming, you just might find Mr./Mrs. Right, or an over-sized mosquito...

Supplies!

2009-01-08T21:31:00.003-05:00

This video was taken pre-momma arrival at Thanksgiving where all of us chilluns were crazy on the lookout prior to the big surprise. I believe Rhys even took it upon himself to cover the tracks of our neighbor who had just barely walked over in time. Great job team!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ea4sufBU4U0

World Frozen Over

2009-01-07T19:33:00.003-05:00

If anybody asked me what skills I possessed, the answer would have to include ice/snow scraping skills. Having enjoyed 26 years of supreme dominance in the field of arctic scraping it was only a matter of time before eventually crossing paths with the frozen albatross of the Northeast.

This morning as I stepped outside in route to the car I witnessed a most peculiar thing. The ground lay blanketed under a sheet of hard flat ice, and not just the ground but everything that touched the ground in the exposed atmosphere. There were no footprints nor could there be made anything of the type. I was experiencing freezing rain, a condition where rain solidifies into ice upon contact.

If you've been lucky enough to scrape your car out of an ice storm then I'm sure you appreciate the grueling upper body workout that goes with it. My windshield cover was encased in the ice that held my car hostage but luckily for me I was armed with some spare keys - yes those pesky extra keys that you never seem to know why they're even on your key chain to begin with DO have a special purpose! Bracing myself against an adjacent car I began a long drawn out process of removing the ice in the seam of the car door. Once complete I was able to get my workout with the real scraper and only after getting drenched in the rain that was still falling.

The radio announcer on the drive to work relayed school closures which happened to include every school within 60 miles and here I am thinking how nice it would be to be at home under warm covers instead of sliding across highway lanes. I sure do miss those days. Well today I finally met my match, and she is a most cruel mistress.

One of my hobbies is collecting funny and insightful TV commercials. I find this one in particular to be a lesson in keeping your 'cool':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDoEO6kSVEk

Meh-wedge

2009-01-04T22:19:00.005-05:00

So a friend of mine posted an idea of having 3-year renewable marriage contracts. What does that phrase even suggest? The idea is absurdly short-sighted and ridiculous. It's like asking for male-pattern baldness; no thank you. There's even talk these days of getting prenuptial agreements upon the very act of entering into the bonds of holy matrimony. This kind of talk does little to strengthen the family, the thread which makes up the fabric of our society. Weak talk begets poor investment.