Wednesday, February 23, 2011

You Are What You Eat

Today's blog post is brought to you by the word, Twinkie [too-ween-key] -noun: A kind of soft yellowish euphoria wrapped in plastic. A staple food of many young and unassuming North Americans.

Twinkies are said to consist of 37 ingredients, but I counted only two, white and yellow.

Apart from clotting our arteries and making ding dongs jealous, Twinkies have enjoyed a bustling 80+ year (shelf) life. For many of us growing up, Twinkie the Kid was a cultural icon, wrangling the likes of Captain Cupcake and Fruit Pie the Magician. Today, his fame and jovial smile continue to outlast all other wannabee snack cakes. Indeed, this golden sponge cake with creamy filling has made its mark on history; a soft pudgy mark.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Up Up and Away

A little over a year ago, my then soon-to-be betrothed asked me what I might like for Christmas. Honestly, I did not care for anything in the world except to be with her for Christmas; however, not to disappoint and list off at least one pithy yet tangible desire, I answered something to the effect of "it would be great if I had the title to the planet Jupiter."

Fast-forward a year and one month and to my great surprise and delight, even far-out dreams can come true:

"The International board of Planetary Ownership Petitions (IBPOP) Bern, Switzerland, certifies that Dallin Kuzmich of the United States of America, State of Colorado, City of Boulder has been awarded the sole title and full ownership of THE PLANET JUPITER. By right of inheritance and as the last dying wish of Walter Rzeszowskiego (your father's favorite uncle's half-brother's third cousin, twice removed). The Honorable Mr. Rzeszowskiego served as the President of IBPOP for 62 years. He passed away in his board of director's chair on 8 Dec 2010. Please present this certificate on all charter flights to Jupiter to receive first-class service. A history of the planet, satellite photography originals, and a sample of Jupiterian soil are forthcoming. Given this sixteenth day of December, two thousand and ten."

Dearest Liezel - you are a talented and creative wonder! How does a trip to Jupiter tomorrow sound? I'll fill the hydrazine/oxidizer tanks; just bring that beautiful smile of yours :)