Thursday, January 29, 2009

25 Admirable Professions (in no particular order)

Lately I've been thinking about people I admire which has led me to think about their chosen professions. Here's the list I compiled:

1) Snow Plowers
2) Rocket Scientists
3) Farmers
4) IT gurus
5) FDA scientists/quality assurance personnel
6) Firemen
7) Commercial Airline Pilots
8) Public Works - including Garbage men!
9) Music Teachers
10) Micro Drivers in Santiago, Chile
11) Surgeons
12) Policemen
13) Orchestra pit musicians
14) Beekeepers
15) Public School Teachers
16) Engineers
17) Air Traffic Controllers
18) Truck Driver
19) Dispatcher
20) Nurses
21) Military servicemen and women
22) Dentists
23) Supply Chain Managers - thanks Jared!
24) Chefs
25) Mothers

Next weeks list: 25 Not-so Admirable Professions

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

For the Good of the Company

I came across an insightful article written in November '08 and I would like to make mention of it just in case you missed the memo. In an effort to boost the declining birthrate in the country, Japanese companies are urging their committed employees to "go home, play with their children, and make more babies." I can see that albeit their efforts are not purely philanthropic, workers just don't grow on trees (especially the ones willing to work 7-day weeks). So next time an employee from the Nippon Oil Corp. calls in to say he'll be working from home that day - he ain't kidding! I can't help but wonder the last time a similar measure was encouraged in the annals of history? Any thoughts?

In other news, I cooked-up a fresh pot of homemade chicken soup last Saturday and then promptly seasoned it with salt & pepper and garden seasoning. Nothing. Then I added some garlic powder and cumin. Still no difference in taste. I have yet to deduce the root cause behind the mysteriously strong kick which now holds my soup captive though I have a general idea that it started with the thought, "hey, I have Cajun seasoning!" Luckily I discovered an easy fix to stomach said spicy stew: hearty servings of barbecue sauce.

Now that's a happy ending.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Got Power?

Growing concern of harnessing enough cheap and reliable energy in the world today has many wondering what is to be done. For centuries, man has relied heavily on the decomposed remains of the dinosaurs (and their breakfast) to heat his home and cook his stew. This murky goo, together with Santa's naughty list stocking stuffers and natural 'essence of bean' reserves, supply roughly two-thirds the world's electrical power today, however, each of these sources will eventually 'run dry' in the sense that one day in the not-too distant future when little Tommy comes home from school and turns on his favorite television cartoon "Mutant Parasitic Invaders from Mars," all of a sudden the screen will go dark as with every other fossil fuel dependent outlet, just when it is starting to look good for General Mucus and the Nasal brigade.

The push for 'greener' technologies is becoming more promising as scientific breakthroughs hurdle once-formidable physical barriers yet despite this, their price tags become even greater obstacles. So in the end, what is to be done you may ask? I think we stay the R&D course, build more nuclear energy plants, and in the words of Civil War Admiral David G. Farragut: "D*** the torpedoes, full speed ahead!"

Monday, January 19, 2009

Real Pirates wear Arrrrrrr-gyle

A few weeks ago it was reported in the news that Somalian hijackers of an oil tanker had drowned in the ocean after departing with their ransom money in a small ship. This cruel irony illustrates just how much pirates nowadays have lost touch with their once savvy ways, where popular phrases such as "shiver me timbers" and "thar she blows" are now substituted with duds like "let's have honest negotiations." In the end, the cause of this cultural identity crisis can be summed up in two words: bad karma.

This would be a good time to remember your roots and the living heritage of your forefathers (and mothers). As for me, I'm remembering the Kuzmiches, Turks and Bachnovic's. The Links, Mauss's, and Koelch. Families can be together forever, learn how!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Another Day of Miracles

If you've seen the news today then you've seen video footage of the plane wreckage of US Airways Flight 1549 slowly drifting into a watery grave and passengers awaiting rescue on wings of mercy. All in all it was amazing no one was killed and none seriously injured. I drive over the Susquehanna River four times a day going to work and when I see large chucks of ice floating by I get the most haunting image of what it would be like to fall victim to its icy grasp.

The events which transpired prior to the engine failures are still under investigation but wide-spread speculation points the principal cause to B.I.R.D.S. (Blasted Incoming Radar Deceptive Seagulls). Government sources like the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration) confirm that these random and interspersed types of collisions are increasing for two reasons: the environment is cleaner and airplanes are quieter. I can't say I'd enjoy living in a dump, so as a solution I recommend aviation experts learn a thing or two from the pimped-out rides of South Central LA. I mean would you go near a vehicle that made your head vibrate from ear to ear?

In other news, I'm throwing away the four frozen boxes of Perogies I purchased on sale at the grocery store on account of the massive heartburn I suffered after consuming several of the fiery darts for dinner. *grumble grumble grumble*

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Do - Re - Mi - Ski - Tow

I read a most interesting scientific study today on the musical matchmaking of mosquitoes. Long have bug scientists suspected male mosquitoes capable of audibly locating their future mates - usually talking on the phone - however recent findings suggest the siren call is but a prelude to their romantic endeavors. The beating of the female's wings produces a fundamental tone around 400Hz whereas the male sings a little higher at 600Hz. These tones do not begin to set the mood until they come within close proximity and - yes you guessed it music major geeks! - a harmonic overtone will resonate, which just happens to be love potion No. 1200Hz signaling Arthropod "go time." This higher frequency, thought to reside beyond the mosquitoes audible radar, is likened unto the whisperings of sweet nothings. Moral of the study: don't stop humming, you just might find Mr./Mrs. Right, or an over-sized mosquito...

Thursday, January 8, 2009


This video was taken pre-momma arrival at Thanksgiving where all of us chilluns were crazy on the lookout prior to the big surprise. I believe Rhys even took it upon himself to cover the tracks of our neighbor who had just barely walked over in time. Great job team!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

World Frozen Over

If anybody asked me what skills I possessed, the answer would have to include ice/snow scraping skills. Having enjoyed 26 years of supreme dominance in the field of arctic scraping it was only a matter of time before eventually crossing paths with the frozen albatross of the Northeast.

This morning as I stepped outside in route to the car I witnessed a most peculiar thing. The ground lay blanketed under a sheet of hard flat ice, and not just the ground but everything that touched the ground in the exposed atmosphere. There were no footprints nor could there be made anything of the type. I was experiencing freezing rain, a condition where rain solidifies into ice upon contact.

If you've been lucky enough to scrape your car out of an ice storm then I'm sure you appreciate the grueling upper body workout that goes with it. My windshield cover was encased in the ice that held my car hostage but luckily for me I was armed with some spare keys - yes those pesky extra keys that you never seem to know why they're even on your key chain to begin with DO have a special purpose! Bracing myself against an adjacent car I began a long drawn out process of removing the ice in the seam of the car door. Once complete I was able to get my workout with the real scraper and only after getting drenched in the rain that was still falling.

The radio announcer on the drive to work relayed school closures which happened to include every school within 60 miles and here I am thinking how nice it would be to be at home under warm covers instead of sliding across highway lanes. I sure do miss those days. Well today I finally met my match, and she is a most cruel mistress.

One of my hobbies is collecting funny and insightful TV commercials. I find this one in particular to be a lesson in keeping your 'cool':

Sunday, January 4, 2009


So a friend of mine posted an idea of having 3-year renewable marriage contracts. What does that phrase even suggest? The idea is absurdly short-sighted and ridiculous. It's like asking for male-pattern baldness; no thank you. There's even talk these days of getting prenuptial agreements upon the very act of entering into the bonds of holy matrimony. This kind of talk does little to strengthen the family, the thread which makes up the fabric of our society. Weak talk begets poor investment.