Wednesday, April 29, 2009

What Goes Around Comes Around

It has been said that 43% of Americans who undergo an unnecessary medical tests on a routine checkup. My trip to the doctor's office this week was not by any means a routine visit. So far and counting this has been the second time I was subjected to a CT scan and no they are not fun but the radiologist did say I had the strongest veins she'd ever worked on. It turns out that my symptoms of gnarly stomach spasms had nothing to with appendicitis (thankfully!) but rather a mixed bag of severe abdominal exertion and killer gas. That's right, the silent but deadly culprit is real and who knows the next time the villainy will strike again. The strangely funny thing about this experience was that I think I contributed to my distress by scrubbing down my entire apartment with the greatest of degree of detail over the weekend - how's that for wild and crazy?!?

So from now on, it's all about keeping myself from doing really stupid things.

Saturday, April 25, 2009


It's 85 degrees Fahrenheit here and the beach is so far! But even that didn't stop me from buying swimming trunks today. Ever since I got back from San Diego last week from my brother's wedding I have been craving Mexican food like no one's business and it just so happens that I live in the one part of the country more aloof and unaware of the glorious comestibles south of the border. While keeping my healthy addiction at bay may be a good thing, not feeding my taco-dependent body has been linked to the following symptoms:

Unexplained Rage
Taste Bud Revolting, and

Luckily I was able eat enough to avoid developing any of these symptoms, and instead experiencing:

Stretch Marks,
*Weight Gain, and
Complete Nirvana (thanks Rhys and Liz!)

* - Sadly effects are only temporary

My Calling Card

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Ask and Ye Shall Recieve

I learned an enlightening truth recently: the weaknesses of our mortal bodies help us to appreciate the Savior's Atonement in taking upon himself the "pains and the sicknesses of his people," (Alma 7:11). In a very real sense I was awakened to just how true that scripture is and the power of availing blessings. Three weeks ago I was exercising in the gym - perhaps stretching a little aggressively - followed by several rehearsals and a concert of the Mozart Requiem. These "normal" activities somehow triggered a series of back pains that left me a rigid walking corpse until yesterday, as I laid in bed experiencing frightening back and leg spasms, and ultimately came to the aforementioned realization: Ask for priesthood blessings. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is a free and miraculous gift to all who seek comfort when all hope seems to fade.

In light of these circumstances and also remembering the fact that there sits a sparkly corporate medical benefits plan totally untouched atop the top shelf like a proverbial cookie jar, I stuck my hand in a pulled out a chiropractor visit. Today happened to be my first "adjustment" which is just a fancy way for saying man-handled by a fully licensed professional 'bent' on subluxation jargon. This is not a sugar coated experience by any means especially for first timers such as myself; however, it sure beats the alternative. I did learn one helpful tip that saved me quite a bit of sleep last night: sleep on the floor.

not on the stomach silly :)

Monday, April 13, 2009

To Bake or Not To Bake

It is written that if your eye should offend you, to pluck it out and cast it away. Well, just so happens that crumby bread is no exception. Last night I set the bread master to bake a delicious loaf of honey wheat goodness only to discover a hardened lump of gluten plastered to the inside of the bread machine. May this be a lesson to all: eye-balling a bread recipe is bad. very bad...

Precise measurements are crucial and great care should be taken to ensure correct ingredient amount, nigh unto the atomic weight. So I ended up making my regular pbj sandwich on butt bread today which tasted just like it sounds, though looking on the brighter side, I think I've invented a material more resilient than articular cartilage.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Stereos and Types of People Listening

I've been skimming through a book collection of funny jokes & quotes and came across a most rip roaring entry by John Molyneux published in the Bulletin:

"A minister was urged by his congregation to explain the difference between heaven and hell. 'They're not as different as you might think,' he said. 'In heaven, the British are the policemen, the Germans are the mechanics, the Swiss run the trains, the French do the cooking, and the Italians are the lovers. In hell, only minor changes take place. The Germans are the policemen, the French are the mechanics, the Italians run the trains, the British do the cooking, and the Swiss are making love.' "