Problem: 18% rise in food allergies among children since 1997.
Proposed Solution: Milk, soy, peanuts, tree nuts, fish and egg comestibles accounted for over 90% of the recorded allergic reactions. Studies too good for the intellectual community to include in their smarmy scientific publications convincingly point to a consistent diet of Chipotle burritos as a healthy alternative to "opaque white liquid produced by the mammary glands of female mammals," and other child allergens.
Problem: Sub Prime Mortgage Crisis
Proposed Solution: We need to build a time machine and send back Jim Cramer as the Investinator.
Problem: Flatulence
Proposed Solution: Activa Yogurt
Problem: Rising Costs of Healthcare
Proposed Solution: Two possible solutions. 1) Adopt a Universal Healthcare System or 2) Hire Nicholas Cage and the rest of the cast of National Treasure to scour the Earth in search of the Fountain of Youth.
3 comments:
"Gregarious?" Is today big word day and I didn't get the memo?
and I'm in favor of anything that involves Nicholas Cage.
how about you run for the next elections:)
I can't get enough of your solutions. So clever and easy to digest. I am, however, anxiously awaiting the next installment to this crazy fun blog. It giveth me goose bumps to witness the growth and development of your once petrified writing skills. Good stuff growing here.
Please add some more aqua and joy juice for our blogging pleasure.
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