If you've seen the news today then you've seen video footage of the plane wreckage of US Airways Flight 1549 slowly drifting into a watery grave and passengers awaiting rescue on wings of mercy. All in all it was amazing no one was killed and none seriously injured. I drive over the Susquehanna River four times a day going to work and when I see large chucks of ice floating by I get the most haunting image of what it would be like to fall victim to its icy grasp.
The events which transpired prior to the engine failures are still under investigation but wide-spread speculation points the principal cause to B.I.R.D.S. (Blasted Incoming Radar Deceptive Seagulls). Government sources like the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration) confirm that these random and interspersed types of collisions are increasing for two reasons: the environment is cleaner and airplanes are quieter. I can't say I'd enjoy living in a dump, so as a solution I recommend aviation experts learn a thing or two from the pimped-out rides of South Central LA. I mean would you go near a vehicle that made your head vibrate from ear to ear?
In other news, I'm throwing away the four frozen boxes of Perogies I purchased on sale at the grocery store on account of the massive heartburn I suffered after consuming several of the fiery darts for dinner. *grumble grumble grumble*